For National Grief Awareness Day on Aug. 30, trauma expert Judith A. Swack, Ph.D., is shedding light on why some individuals remain stuck in grief long after a loss. Dr. Swack, author of the award-winning book "Clear Trauma Now: The Powerful Solution for Getting Unstuck," explains that unresolved trauma can keep people trapped in a cycle of pain, preventing them from accessing joyful memories of the person they lost.
During a traumatic loss, the body's fight-flight-freeze response becomes conditioned to remember and react to anything that happened at that time, causing people to repeatedly relive the shock of the event. This automatic reaction means that every reminder of the loved one can trigger the pain of the moment they died or left, rather than fond memories. Dr. Swack emphasizes that healing begins by calming this trauma response so the nervous system no longer reacts as though the loss is happening in the present.
Dr. Swack shares five first steps toward healing. First, it is crucial to separate the trauma from the person you loved. Many grieving people fear that letting go of the trauma will sever their connection to the loved one, but Dr. Swack asserts the opposite is true. Trauma can fuse with the memory of a loved one, causing every remembrance to trigger pain instead of love. Healing the trauma allows positive memories and gratitude to return without losing the relationship.
Second, identify the "hidden layers" beneath your grief. Grief rarely consists of sadness alone; according to Dr. Swack's research, loss trauma often includes shock, fear, anger, hurt, guilt, shame, and feelings of helplessness. Recognizing these layers is essential for comprehensive healing.
Third, listen for limiting beliefs that loss may have created. Traumatic loss often leaves behind unconscious conclusions such as "It's my fault," "People always leave me," "I can't trust anyone," "Who will take care of me?" or "I'm powerless." These beliefs can impact relationships, work, and self-confidence long after the loss, but becoming aware of them is an important step toward healing.
Fourth, pay attention to the feeling of emptiness. One hallmark of unresolved loss trauma is a deep sense of emptiness or a "hole" in the chest or stomach. Dr. Swack notes that people often try to fill this void through work, food, relationships, or other compulsive behaviors. Recognizing that the emptiness is part of the trauma response can help individuals seek healthier ways to heal.
Finally, recognize that healing trauma is not about forgetting someone or "moving on." One of the biggest barriers to recovery is the fear that healing means leaving a loved one behind. However, resolving the trauma surrounding a loss does not erase the relationship; instead, it allows people to stop reliving the worst moment of their lives and begin remembering the love, joy, and meaning that came before the loss.
"Healing trauma at all levels allows people to easily recall special memories of loving connection and appreciate the ways in which their lives were enriched by having known that person," Dr. Swack explains.
Dr. Swack's book was recently named the 2026 Silver Medal Winner for Grief Books by the Coalition of Visionary Resources (COVR). The book details healing practices she pioneered as part of her Healing from the Body Level Up™ (HBLU™) methodology, a comprehensive system designed to clear trauma at the conscious, unconscious, body, and soul levels.
For those seeking live healing, Dr. Swack will present a "Clear Trauma Now Live Healing" webinar Thursday evenings in September: Sept. 3 from 7 to 9 p.m. and Sept. 10, 17, and 24 from 7 to 8:30 p.m. EDT. Experience trauma healing in real time and learn how to do it yourself. Visit hblu.org/live-healing-experience for details.
